‘I Swear This Time I Mean It’

“So I’ll sing a melody and hope to God she’s listening sleeping softly while I sing and I’ll be your memories for lullaby for all the times hoping that my voice could get it right..” *playing*

So it’s 2:01am.. my cousins came over today.. we had boxes from the states to open.. and we went over to Montefaro for swimming. I can’t say if I’m tired or not or it’s just my mind telling me to not be tired. I’m currently in our dining table, blogging and typing whatever pops in my head. I knowwww I should be sleeping, I dunnnooooo well.. since I have the chance to stay awake this late.. hahaha why not? RIGHT? Anyway I’m used to sleeping late. Though I’m trying to change that bad habit well.. this is just for one night only. Haha!

I’m actually still planning to watch this movie titled Wild Child right now. Anyway.. still thinking about it. Haha! To be honest, I really don’t know what to talk about.. but before I decided to make a test post here I was looking at our old pictures.. me when I was in first year, grade 6, grade 4..3… anyway childhood pictures to be short. GAWD. I was sooooo huge!! (well, I still am right now). I’ve seen how I’ve changed for the past years.. and I also browsed this pictures taken at my birthday year 2010. I was celebrating my 13th birthday that time.. well.. I had a lot of ‘friends’ who came over to that birthday celebration of mine.. I can’t believe how things changed a lot.. so this question popped in my mind.. “How DID things change?”.

I don’t know. I don’t know why things changed. Or maybe I do I just don’t want to face it. Or maybe I really don’t. Or maybe things between me and those people changed. Or maybe.. just maybe.. it’s because those people just changed already into someone I didn’t know.. All I know is that some.. some.. let me clarify.. SOME really changed a lot. 

It’s so sad to think of the fact that people you were once happy with are gone today. Are with different group of friends today. That they’ve changed. You don’t always talk to them like the way you talked to them before. You can’t tell them your secrets anymore because of your doubts that they might spill it to their ‘new friends’. You really don’t know If you should talk to them because talking to them seems like you’re annoying them. Everybody hates that feeling. 

Anyway, life isn’t about the number of your friends. It’s about the quality of your relationship with others. It’s about not changing.. or may be changing but not forgetting. Time flies, we grow up and we realize things we don’t even bother thinking about before. Shocking right? But yeah. As we grow up we discover things. Like me.. I discovered that it really IS more fun to be alone sometimes. That ‘alone’ moment when you don’t have to worry if that person with you wants to go somewhere else..or wants to do something else.. or doesn’t want to do something with you.. or they just don’t want to be with you. 

Gaaaah!! Anyway.. this is enough for now. .I’m sleepy….? Haha!